I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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