More tranny stories later!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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