I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
