he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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