Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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