yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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