i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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