I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
