Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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