My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
