I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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