If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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