i just wanna soil my oats bro
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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