it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
