I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He felt like a one man threesome
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
