I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
