rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's get the cat blown out
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
