Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
