did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
