two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
