I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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