I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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