I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize