It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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