this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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