You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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