don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Two words: blizzard sex
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
