oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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