the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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