How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
