Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
