Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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