just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Small penises have feelings too.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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