Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
