wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
