i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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