Already got asked if we're dating
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
