my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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