sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
