Screwed.edu
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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