you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
