I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
