when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
