My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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