just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
