why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
