Porn is love you can see.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
