I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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