And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
