so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
