we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
