her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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