Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Quick, to the slutcave!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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