It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We are two peas in an std pod
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
